It's been awhile. To be exact:
Two years, six months, and 15 days since the Blahg was last updated.
And since I last updated a non-quote blahg, it's been four years, one month, and 22 days.
That's quite the span. Some, most, or even all of you might be saying something along the lines of "You've been gone so long! Why would you disappear for such an extended amount of time? Why have you suddenly returned? Are you going to stick around this time and continue your commitment to bring the world knowledge, laughter, and randomness?"
For those of you who aren't asking those questions, this is not the post for you, as they will all be answered.
This will be my 50th post. I would have liked to have done something special in honor of it, but I feel this is far more important.
For, once again, randomly disappearing for a more than extended period of time without any notice or explanation or indication of when I would be back: I wholeheartedly apologize. I didn't know when or even if I would be coming back, myself.
The last time I posted, I was still in college. This was just before a major negative downturn in my overall mental and emotional health due to various complicated reasons that I don't need to bore you with. This lasted the entirety of my sophomore year.
I did not go back to school and began what became a bit of a "life hiatus" for the next few years. I had no sense of direction, nor any plan or semblance of an idea of what was going to be done about my future.
I went back to working in North Carolina at the BBQ restaurant I had worked the summer before. By the end of the summer, I was working 65+ hours a week, with one day off in between. On top of that, I was having some personal issues hitting me rather hard at the time. I'll tell you honestly, the human body can do some amazing things and can handle quite the work load. That is, for a short period of time. Once you pass a particular threshold, your body begins to protest and certain biological functions begin to shut down. This is said from experience, as it is what I was going through during the last month or so or my employment there.
At the end of September 2015, I quit my job at the restaurant. I was already struggling with it and had given a notice prior but they had enticed me to stay with a small raise. Not long after, a manager who had been harassing myself and several other employees pushed me past my limit, (I believe I was the seventh person to have quit because of him) and so I clocked out and walked out of the restaurant as an employee for the last time. Honestly, it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I learned a very important lesson from that job: no amount of money is worth being absolutely miserable and depressed nor any negative health issues (mental, emotional, or physical) that may arise from the nature of the work or the work environment.
In November of the same year, I applied to and was hired at the pharmacy where I am still working. I was just a cashier for a year, and then was promoted to head merchandiser (as well as continuing my position as a cashier). I've been focusing on my work there between what I do while I'm clocked in, a little work I do from home, and some other things like making my way to the trade show and taking a seminar this part summer.
A few other major things have happened since my last post, including the purchasing of my first car, and the finding of my baby boy, Nara. He is my love and he certainly knows who Mom is. I didn't know I needed him before he stumbled into my life, but I needed him. He's been a companion, an absolute riot, a comfort, a pain in my butt, and a joy for the past two and a half years.
Now, 2018 has been an insane whirlwind of a year, both in a good and a bad way. It's ranged from attending a Daughtry concert, having a cousin from up north visit for a week, and going to see Interactive Introverts, to dealing with Winter Storm Grayson, a dog with an eye ulcer that caused her to go blind in that eye, and Hurricane Florence (which we, and many others, are still dealing with).
That brings us up to the present!
As I said, I'm still working as a cashier and merchandiser at the same pharmacy. It was never my goal to make this a permanent position. It was supposed to be a stepping stone, and has succeeded in doing so. However, I've matured a lot in the past three years and have been doing some major introspection about what I want in the long term and about what I like to do. Don't get me wrong, I love my job and I do find immense pleasure from doing it. But I feel like I could do something greater; something that could actually help people. With a lot of time, and some thoughtful help from the people I love, I've finally decided what I want to be when I grow up.
Starting this upcoming semester, I'll be attending the local community college. As a full-time employee with morning, daytime, and early-evening hours, I can't attend full-time, but I have applied to the school and registered for seven credit hours (which is three courses). On top of that, I'll be studying for the PSB, which, for those of you who may not know, is the exam I have to take in order to be admitted into the nursing program. Of course, there are only a certain number of slots available, and admittance is points-based, so I'm not guaranteed a spot just because I've signed up and "passed" the test.
I'm going to continue working at the pharmacy as long as I can, but I also intend to work my behind off in school. I now have a goal, and I feel like I have the drive to reach it. Which is an amazing feeling.
I can't give any good excuses for my extended absence, as I've been in a good mental place for the last couple years and I get a notification about the Facebook page at least thrice a week. I've been tempted to come back before, but I just haven't. All I can offer now is an apology.
As for why I'm coming back now at this moment, I'm not entirely sure, either. It may be the new sense of purpose or the new forward motion I'm now experiencing. Having a goal can apparently do a lot for a person. If I'm laying what I think and feel out on a table for you all to see, maybe I'm just saying it now to be able to express it too myself, I don't know, but being completely honest about it: I feel refreshed, or renewed in a sort of strange way. I'm simultaneously terrified, yet thrilled for the challenges I'm about to face and the possible future I can see myself in. I'm determined to do this and to stick to it this time. I'm relieved that I actually have an idea of what I want. I'm relieved that I don't feel stagnant and am not drowning in monotony or the dreadful inability to look beyond today.
All that said, school is now my main focus, thus I can't make any concrete promises about regular posts. (Except the weekly quotes. That's an easy thing to keep up with, or, at the very least to schedule ahead of time.) I can say that I will try, keyword TRY to post a Blahg at least once a month. I'm not making any guarantees.
I hope you can all forgive me for my extended absence,
To start, I leave you with this blahg post, and, as it's Sunday, the return of the weekly quote:
"With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
Hannah Haugen
The Daily Blahgger
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